Crossing the line between vulnerability and brutality?

December 6, 2010 at 4:05 PM 2 comments

I have been reading a lot of blogs and comments lately, and sometimes I have found a bad taste in my mouth from what I am reading. Where is that subtle line between an honest vulnerability, and speaking just to hear your own voice? When is it okay to share your opinion, or keep your opinion to yourself? If your opinion is negative should you swallow it for the sake of happiness, or should you find a way to share it kindly to open somebody else’s mind? Should you just be brutally honest and ridicule someone else in hopes that they will see how right you are? I’m really struggling with this. I am seeing beautiful posts that touch me, and then I am reading comments on them about how much of a fruitcake people who have that belief or opinion are. I am seeing blogs that frustrate me, and I want to comment with my opinions about why I like being a fruitcake. But I also don’t want to run anyone down into the dirt, or hurt another person. Is it possible that my blogs are causing these same fearful emotions in other people?

I know that everyone has an opinion on this matter, sometimes even two. I ride the fence, and most of the time it depends on what the debate is about. In most cases I try my best to let things go, as long as they are not causing another person harm. But where do I draw the line of swallowing my pride, or lashing out at somebody? When people talk about things that are close to my heart, I get emotional about it. Things such as art, photography, music, family, and community really hit home to me. When somebody is carrying on about how such-and-such person cannot or should not sing, I feel something deep inside me begin to tug at my heart. “Dont just stand there and let them ridicule that person, even if they aren’t your favorite musician.” I hear that in my head when people make fun of Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, etc. But also, when people say that rock music is not dancy enough for them, and it shouldn’t exist, I hear myself saying “What right do you have to say something shouldn’t or should exist? Rock music makes me happy.” I almost feel like I like to argue, just because I can.

That cannot be good. I believe in standing up for myself, but also in letting others be themselves. I argue with myself in my mind all the time, before any debate ever starts to leave my mouth. I look at the world from so many different views and angles that it’s no wonder my brain hasn’t exploded yet. I want to argue with myself over this post already!

Maybe I need to stop trying to prove myself right.

Do you ever wonder if I think too much? Sometimes I am pretty sure I think too much, but then I think to myself “What is so wrong with thinking?

What is the big deal with “right”, “being right”, and the general sense of “needing to be perfect”? Can’t we all just agree to disagree? Which would be nice, except when people hit a crossroads of standing up for something they believe in. Then people speak out, which is crucial. I was homeschooled since third grade (something that still shocks A LOT of people), and I am so glad I was able to have that opportunity. People find out I am/was homeschooled and they automatically assume that I have a problem with public schools, or people, or that I am going to be all high and mighty. Well, I am not any of those people. I believe in community, values, helping others, and loving your neighbor as yourself. I loved public school while I went, but homeschooling allowed me to focus on things that I really had an interest in. It allowed me to learn how I needed to learn. I would not have been able to do half of the things I did growing up before I homeschooled. You can guaruntee that if I ever have to stand up for my right to homeschool, I will. BUT, you can also guaruntee that if that day comes I will be just as active in standing up for other people’s right to attend a public school IF THAT IS THE CHOICE THEY MAKE. When people don’t stand up for themselves out of fear, other people take over and freedoms are lost. But when is it too much? Is it too much when a 19 year old girl can’t read through fifteen comments on a blog about art without anger flaring up inside her? Maybe.

But that is not for me to decide for the world. I can only decide for myself.


Entry filed under: A Day in the Life, Food For Thought. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

116.4, 7, and 19 are my favorite numbers. :) SNOW! =) I only like it because it’s pretty.

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. starrlife  |  December 7, 2010 at 8:56 AM

    Anger is a perfectly normal feeling to have- what actions are taken is where the story is told of a persons life and temperament. I do despise the “mean girls” behavior that the internet sometimes evokes – random rudeness and put downs. It brings out both the best and the worst. Especially when it is over Ideas!Ideas which should be able to be expressed, if not judging others than freely without reparation or punishment. Hmmm… sore spot for me too!

    • 2. Heather  |  December 7, 2010 at 12:22 PM

      I have just really been struggling with this lately, within myself and with others. I never want to take somebody’s freedoms, or expression, or choices away from them– but I don’t want to lose mine either. :/ Ideas are simply that; ideas. Something in someone’s mind that is at the beginning stages of development, and they may or may not have decided where they stand on those ideas. They could be putting things out there to expand the idea, and when somebody beats them over the head about it in an extreme way they in turn develop extreme ideas about their idea. Either negative, or positive, and that amount of influence is terrifying.


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