“…So I’m gonna start over tonight, beginning with you and I…”

December 23, 2010 at 10:41 PM 2 comments

I listen to Paramore a lot, and sometimes I wonder if they read my mind. Some of their lyrics seem to mirror experiences I am going through, or feelings I have. I do not agree with everything that Paramore does or says, but I don’t agree with ANYONE 100%. I feel moved to blog about some experiences I have had after listening to their song “Miracle” and fully taking in the lyrics. Wow… miracle is definitely right.

mir·a·cle

  /ˈmɪrəkəl/ Show Spelled[mir-uh-kuhl]

–noun
1. an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause.
2. such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of [G]od.
3. a wonder; marvel.
Courtesy of Dictionary.com

This year I almost had the biggest falling out of my life. I almost lost not one, not two, but… thirteen close friendships. Why? Because of my stupid, selfish, stubborn, PRIDE. The word pride is like venom to me these days. Things are not completely healed, but we are in the midst of the healing process. It doesn’t matter anymore who was wrong, who was right, or who started it. All that matters to me is that it is over.

Graphic Design that I created using an image of Hayley Williams from google search (I'll post the original below), and lots of layers in Adobe Photoshop. I used a Wacom Intuos3 4x6 Pen Tablet, and it was a lot of fun to edit the image.

I’m posting the lyrics to this song because if there is anyone else out there who is struggling with similar emotions, just let it go. Start over, and as long as the situation is not abusive or life-threatening there is ALWAYS hope to restore friendships. It will take a lot of work, a lot of love, even more forgiveness, and sometimes it will take a good blow to your pride and your ego. But that is where you have to weigh the options, and you have to realize that sometimes it isn’t just their fault. Sometimes, when you really close your eyes and meditate on it from an unbiased viewpoint you will see that you have made just as many mistakes. Is it worth losing sleep? Is it worth causing somebody else pain, just so you can be “the winner”?

Original photograph from the edited design above, found on Google search.

I’ve gone for too long living like I’m not alive
So I’m going to start over tonight
Beginning with you and I
When this memory fades
I’m gonna make sure it’s replaced
With chances taken
Hope embraced
I hope I told you

I’m not going
cause I’ve been waiting for a miracle
And I’m not leaving
I won’t let you
Let you give up on a miracle
Cause it might save you

We’ve learned to run from
Anything uncomfortable
We’ve tied our pain below and no one ever has to know
That inside we’re broken
I tried to patch things up again
To cut my tears and kill my fears
But have I told you how I..

I’m not going
Cause I’ve been waiting for a miracle
And I’m not leaving
I won’t let you
Let you give up on a miracle
Cause it might save you

It’s not faith if, if you use your eyes
Oh why

Get it right this time (this time)
Let’s leave this all behind
Oh why

We’ll get it right this time
It’s not faith if you’re using your eyes
Oh why

I’ve gone for too long living like I’m not alive
So I’m going to start over tonight
Beginning with you and I

I don’t want to run from anything uncomfortable
I just want, no
I just need this pain to end right here

I’m not going
Cause I’ve been waiting for a miracle
And I’m not leaving
I won’t let you
Let you give up on a miracle
Cause it might save you

Yeah, it might save you
Oh, it might save you

It’s not faith if, if you use your eyes
If you use your eyes
If you use your eyes

“Miracle” by Paramore
I hope deep down that nobody ever needs this post… but just in case you do, I’m praying for YOU and that everything works out in YOUR situation how it needs to. No matter how desperate things seem, somebody loves you. Even if you don’t always know it in your head.
Happy Adventures,
Burkie
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When Words and Images Collide It’s Christmas, Christmas!

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. starrlife  |  January 1, 2011 at 8:01 AM

    Awwww….. very wise! Holding onto grievances is never healthy but sometimes letting go feels like giving in and it becomes a challenge to move on. great song!

    Reply
    • 2. Heather  |  January 1, 2011 at 7:31 PM

      :/ Thanks. Yeah, I’m doing my best… but some days I give in to my weaknesses and let the bitterness drag me down. It is things that hold a meaningful and inspirational message (songs, blogs, poems, books, movies, art, photography, etcetera) that lift my spirits back up and remind me that I am strong enough to move past this. But also that I don’t need to be so strong that I build my defenses too high for anyone to get in.

      Reply

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Reading: just about anything I can get my hands on, other blogs, and especially YA Fiction Novels. Lately I have been really into anything by SARK and other non-fiction books. __________________________________ Writing: updates for my blog, a children's book, music/lyrics, and letters to pen pals. ;) __________________________________ Singing: Warm-Ups. __________________________________ Learning: How to use my voice as an instrument, History of Art, Watercolor, how to be actively involved in creating a better community, and something new every single day. __________________________________ Hoping for: Wisdom and patience when things are hard, a smile no matter what, and a better community. __________________________________ Dreaming about: HAPPINESS __________________________________ Eating: <3 Peanut Butter Pie. Peanut Butter Sandwiches. Peanut Butter No-Bake Cookies. __________________________________ Drinking: Water, usually. __________________________________ Playing: The Sims 3, Dance Central, and the Piano and Guitar. __________________________________ Watching: Christmas/Halloween movies, Who's the Boss? reruns, and crazy-cool documentaries about dead people. __________________________________ Listening to: Informative & Educational Podcasts, all kinds of music, and trying to listen to my parents (they are very wise, after all).

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