I Will Keep Going

January 6, 2011 at 7:30 PM Leave a comment

Click the image to see a blog post I like, where I got the image from.

I want to give up.

I will keep going.

I will keep going.

I will keep going.

Lately I have felt like throwing in the towel and giving up. I have felt: used; pushed around; lied to; broken; pulled in too many directions; and stuck in a rut.

I don’t have to let that rut hold me down. I can use all of my essence to pull myself out of that rut. I can go to people who are loving and trustworthy, and they will gladly give me a lift. I might not be perfect, and I might have problems I am going through, but I am not the only one who is struggling. I’m not the only one fighting to keep going, and frankly, I feel selfish. I have a roof over my head, a loving family, clothes that keep me warm, a loving boyfriend, I am educated, I have a job I love, among many other things to be thankful for.

And I’m crying. And I’m hurting. And I’m grumpy. And I’m wondering how I’m going to make it.

I have at times felt like I want to break, and if something or someone doesn’t break me I am just going to have to break myself.

Sometimes I want to drive into a wall, and just lay there.

Sometimes, I want to get hurt and not get rescued.

I. Am. Scared.

Does this mean I’m crazy? Probably not, I’m probably just over dramatic. But this is how I feel sometimes. Sometimes I am so hurt emotionally that I physically feel an overwhelming pain, or if I don’t physically feel pain I almost want to cause myself pain. But I don’t. It is times like these I count my blessings instead.

I am capable. I am loving, and loved. I am healthy. I am happy most of the time. I love my class. I have the greatest family. My boyfriend sends me little notes that remind me how special I am. I am getting voice lessons from the most amazing singer from this area (in my humble opinion). I went skiing yesterday, and I had a blast; I settled a score with an expert slope and I didn’t even fall!

But y’know, this time, I’m still angry.

Happy Adventures,
Burkie

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Entry filed under: A Day in the Life, Food For Thought. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , .

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The Blogger

Smile about what you are thankful for, and never forget you are a dreamer.

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I am a girl on a mission, and the mission I am on is to be myself. I am an undiscovered treasure, and here I am giving you a key that will allow you a little further into the labyrinth of who I am.

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Reading: just about anything I can get my hands on, other blogs, and especially YA Fiction Novels. Lately I have been really into anything by SARK and other non-fiction books. __________________________________ Writing: updates for my blog, a children's book, music/lyrics, and letters to pen pals. ;) __________________________________ Singing: Warm-Ups. __________________________________ Learning: How to use my voice as an instrument, History of Art, Watercolor, how to be actively involved in creating a better community, and something new every single day. __________________________________ Hoping for: Wisdom and patience when things are hard, a smile no matter what, and a better community. __________________________________ Dreaming about: HAPPINESS __________________________________ Eating: <3 Peanut Butter Pie. Peanut Butter Sandwiches. Peanut Butter No-Bake Cookies. __________________________________ Drinking: Water, usually. __________________________________ Playing: The Sims 3, Dance Central, and the Piano and Guitar. __________________________________ Watching: Christmas/Halloween movies, Who's the Boss? reruns, and crazy-cool documentaries about dead people. __________________________________ Listening to: Informative & Educational Podcasts, all kinds of music, and trying to listen to my parents (they are very wise, after all).

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Heather

Heather loves hats that are designed to look like cute animals, fairy wings, cheese pizza, swimming in ponds, roller blading, taking silly self-portraits, learning, spending time with people, and just about everything else too. Heather does not love ... well, there isn't a lot that she doesn't love. You can probably figure it out after a little while!


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