Archive for July, 2011

Bravery is Something that can be Asked For

You should listen to this song while reading this post. I don’t know why.

Bravery is like a quiet light, alone in the darkness.

You can ask for bravery. You can also demand that bravery come to you, but I much prefer asking– it’s more pleasant.

“Bravery, will you please visit me tonight? Thank you.”

It’s Karaoke Night. I’m going to need it in large doses.

Happy Adventures,


July 30, 2011 at 9:40 AM Leave a comment

Grand Adventures Start with a Step

Lately I have been torn between thinking that anything is possible or nothing matters. These are two extremes, but I find myself facing them daily.

I have come to my own conclusion that grand adventures start with small, humble steps. You would never be able to reach the top of Mt. Everest if you never humbled yourself enough to start at the bottom, or even start by hiking on relatively level ground to develop stamina.

You would never stumble upon the most amazing pizza parlor an hour drive from home if you didn’t first make the decision to travel there.

Many great adventures come with great obstacles– you will face them head on, you will back away from them until you can think of how to overcome them, you will find ways to sneak around some, and others you will have help from friends to demolish.

Sometimes to get to that pizza you have to help a friend get new tires. 🙂

Sometimes, when you’re lost in the jungle of a new city, you stumble onto something that is just right for you. It is exactly what you need to see. It is an art gallery.

Sometimes, when you sign up for their newsletter and the paper asks for “Artists you like: …” you put down the names of friends. 😉 If you get any unexpected searches on Google, it might be my fault. Ha ha!

Sometimes your friends ask the lady running the gallery how they determine what art to showcase. Sometimes the ladies are a little snooty and say “Oh, we’re veeery selective,” and they have poodles named Zhou Zhou.

Sometimes that is enough to make you laugh for hours, and you almost want to erase your friend’s names from the artists you like because they are FAR greater than that place ever will be.

Sometimes you spend an hour calculating how to make it as an artist, your friend as your agent. You talk about blogging, tweeting, networking, and finally just creating your art and continuing to share it with the world because the rest will come.

Sometimes you have such a great day, full of adventure, that you simply cannot help but share it with others. Sometimes your preferred method is blogging.

Usually your preferred method is in-person conversations, but by the time you see people the next day you’re onto the next adventures.

Speaking of that…

Happy Adventures,

July 29, 2011 at 10:30 PM Leave a comment

Daisy is the cutest dog…and Aida is pretty cute too.

Maybe I could have a video blog post sometime… instead of typing it. OR BOTH. I could type the words below the video. Maybe I’m insane… ;p

Enjoy this very sweet video, a video that I watch often. AIDA! I LOVE YOU, SISTER!

Happy Adventures,

July 29, 2011 at 9:01 AM 1 comment


Self Portrait 😉 7/24/11

July 28, 2011 at 6:11 PM 3 comments

Oh, this makes me smile… :)

I’ve been watching this video for quite a few years now, and just decided to post it on my blog when I thought of it again. The first time my mom watched it I thought she was going to die laughing as she walked into my bedroom trying to tell me that I needed to come and watch something.

NOTE: I have been both educated at home, and educated in the public school system. Each have their pros and cons, and I am not against either of them.

July 27, 2011 at 8:25 AM Leave a comment

The Marvelous Messy Middle

Sometimes the most marvelous part about the marvelous messy middle happens while you are looking for the marvelous. You see the mess, you feel stuck in the middle, and you’re actively seeking the marvelous. Suddenly, it finds you! The way that someone smiles; the way you laugh after a long, hard cry; eating an ice cream cone at work and singing happy birthday to a beautiful and kind co-worker. Having the lowest score on the team after a game of bowling, but having such a great time that you don’t mind.

There’s something incredible about how good you feel after you have been sitting in the mud, or walking through puddles.

I’m putting the mud puddles behind me for now, and I’m gonna enjoy the sunshine.

July 26, 2011 at 10:58 PM Leave a comment

Misguided Ghosts

July 26, 2011 at 10:38 PM Leave a comment

Losing My Religion

Lately I am feeling very lost, very hurt, very torn and confused. I feel strong and weak. This song, this song haunts me because it resonates so deeply in this time in my life. What is freaking wrong with me? I feel so far gone this morning. I’m not feeling like myself.

Oh, life is bigger
It’s bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I’ve said too much
I set it up

That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I’m
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool
Oh no I’ve said too much
I set it up

Consider this
Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I’ve said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream
That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream        

July 25, 2011 at 8:38 PM 3 comments

Weaknesses, and Learning to Turn Them Into Strengths

I have many weaknesses that I am not proud of. I am pretty clingy, unusually needy for somebody who is so independent, obnoxious, scatterbrained, and over-emotional. I also tend to over analyze just about everything. I gotta stop thinking quite so much. I am doing my best to turn these weaknesses into strengths though, and my life has been blessed with many teachers. Some of them are the dear kind, that are kindred spirits and full of life and encouragement. The others are the kind that teach me what not to do. I’ve developed some serious troublemakers in my life, and somewhere out of nowhere after I thought I had learned everything I needed to learn from them they taught me something else. I don’t know how I feel about it.

I cried, a lot. I called a friend, and later felt bad because I bothered them over something so minute. I am still glad I called them though, because I was reminded just what I needed to be reminded. I am enough. Troublemakers are put in my life for a reason. I need to be content. I can be content. I am content. I am blessed. After that I sat in a quiet room by myself for a while and I blessed many people, including my troublemakers. It amazes me that this morning I was so jubilant and by 11 am I was crying hysterically and almost in a sort of convulsions. I guess that is one of my many traits; living in the moment. You know, for living in the moment I sure have been clinging to the past…

Maybe it’s time to just let it all go. If only I knew how. Until then, I will do my best to keep going and not let it drag me too far down. I hope. I will do my best to avoid those dangerous questions I ask– like “What’s the point of anything?” or “Who cares?”

Or those phrases, the ones that never help me out of a downward spiral but always seem to come up. “Everyone leaves anyway,” or “No one would miss me,” or “I wonder how it would feel, if I’d just bleed it all out.”

Instead, I am going to focus on other things. Beautiful things.

I am beautiful.
I am strong.
I am surrounded by love.
I am a giver of love.
I am courageous.
I am talented.
I am caring.
I am worth it.
I am a part-time fairy-wing wearer.
I am an artist.
I am a dreamer.
I am a woman.
I am a musician.
I am a singer.
I am a library assistant.
I am a teacher.
I am a student.
I am a hard worker.
I am a free spirit.
I am a little ridiculous.
I am capable.
I am loved.
I. Am. Enough.

So are you. Take it from someone who knows.

When I think about all of the people that I have missed in my life, and all of the people that I currently miss, then throw in the ones that I would miss terribly I realize something. I would be missed. I am missed.

I might be too honest. If that is my biggest weakness, I will always find a way to be happy.

Happy Adventures,

July 24, 2011 at 3:53 PM 3 comments

Feeling Brave

Well, World, it’s been a few days.

It’s been a very good few days, but I’ve spent this time away from my blog so I kind of apologize (only, not really).

Thursday afternoon I heard my voice lesson instructor playing on the radio. Did I mention that she is an incredibly talented person?

Friday morning I went to voice lessons and once again had to give myself an hour long pep-talk before arrival just to keep myself from breaking into a nervous mess. Not because I heard her on the radio, but because she is also an incredible person and I don’t want to let her down. I just had to keep reminding myself that if I give in to my fears and start to sing weaker again that will not be making her happy. Ha ha! I might not be right on every note, I might not have perfect rhythm, but if I am trying and giving it my all, and not backing down, and not sliding up to the high notes, she’ll have a smile on her face (she usually does anyway, though). Also, no chewing. But that’s another story for another day, and it’s not what you think.

Friday afternoon I drove the extra 20 minutes from the hour-away-voice-lessons to visit my long-time sister-friend at her new house that I’d never been to and had minimal directions for. After the visit I headed home and got lost on purpose (really, I promise) and then got the shortest (and cutest) hair cut that I have gotten since before 2003 when I got home. I walked up to the little barber shop in town and donated something like 11 inches to Locks of Love. That was pretty scary and liberating. I love it.

For all you English and Grammar nuts (yeah, YOU!) I am fully aware that I use a heck of a lot of parenthesis and that they are not this necessary. Well, guess what? I say a lot of things that are not necessary, so that is how I am going to write. I talk in parenthesis. And air quotes. 😉 And fragments, for slightly-less-than-dramatic effect.

I honestly don’t remember what I did on Friday night. No– I was not drunk, my keys were not lost, and there were no Barbies on the Bar-B-Q. I just don’t think it was very eventful compared to the rest of my evening. I think I walked a dog and went to bed early. I could be wrong.

None of that matters anyway, because Saturday morning I woke up at some ridiculous (and God-forsaken, mind you) hour before my alarm even went off. I decided that since I could not sleep I would make the best of it and ignore my growling stomach since I would be meeting friends for breakfast in… 4.5 hours. Ha ha! I am pretty sure I painted a little bit, then I got ready and walked a dog around the block. I left entirely to early and stopped at work for about 20 minutes. No one was there, because it was definitely an hour and 20 minutes before they were supposed to open, and no one was scheduled to be there until I left. I read a good book, left a note for my boss, got a drink of water and enjoyed the air conditioning that my vehicle lacks. Even in the morning it is still way to hot.

I didn’t want to be late for breakfast though, so unfortunately I had to leave before anyone got there and I would have to wait to show off my beautiful new haircut to my co-workers. 😛

I ended up being about 25 minutes early for breakfast and I once again opened my book to read. I left the table for a little while and returned to see one of my dear, beautiful, sweet, caring, talented– okay, maybe I’ll stop because listing all of any of their amazing qualities would just take too long –friends at the table I had chosen. My honest-to-goodness first thought was “Aw, she knows me so well she just sensed my presence at the table and knew immediately to sit there,” because Ibelieveinmagicsometimes. Always. Turns out the waitress asked if she was looking for a young girl who was waiting for other people and the waitress was kind enough to show her to my table. It is still pretty magical.

Everyone else managed to arrive safely (my prayers were answered!) and even a slight (or rather large and problematic) obstacle for one of these beautiful ladies was not enough to get in the way of our wonderful time and she showed up anyway. “Better late than never,” I always say! That being said I really hate being late which is why I tend to ALWAYS leave to early and read a while in a book when I am excited about something. I’ll probably grow out of that if my mom is any example. She had us kids and was almost never on time for anything until we got much older.

Everyone loved my hair, which I already knew would happen because it is adorable but I definitely appreciated hearing anyway. That sentence was awful, but I’m leaving it. Done.

We laughed a lot, almost cried (from laughing), talked about so many things, planned to put a little coffee shop on the map and “advance our pseudo-careers” (that part is a quote, right?). Someone made a comment about networking, and I said “See, you don’t need a Facebook to network because I planned this without Facebook!” under my breath. Or maybe it was just in my head. I don’t remember, but I don’t think anyone heard me.

Sometimes I have a lot to prove. I’m working on that.

I shared some art and my journal with these ladies, one shared her little-black-book (the best little-black-book ever), and we all shared many incredible minutes together. I tried my best to soak up each one! I love the story of the Sunshine/Sonshine Box and I seriously want to do that. Stinking amazing woman almost made me cry because she is so incredibly encouraging. They all are!

We are definitely going to be getting together again soon. Next month? Oh yes.

Did I mention that I am going to be trying my hand at karaoke soon also? That sentence pretty much explains the title of this post. I’ll let you know how it goes!

I hope you are all having a BEAUTIFUL Sunday. It’s only 7am for me, but it’s already beyond beautiful because I am getting to take time to reflect on how incredible my life is.

Happy Adventures,

July 24, 2011 at 7:04 AM 4 comments

Older Posts

I’m Tweeting (Yikes!)

  • So, I started going by my middle name in college because I've always liked it better. Now I'm Renée, and can be tweeted at "teafaellana." 8 years ago
  • I keep reading fanfics to tide me over until #OUaT is back. I can't wait to see more character development of Regina! #EvilRegals 8 years ago
  • This has somehow been the best and worst Thanksgiving I've ever had, all at once. 9 years ago

The Blogger

Smile about what you are thankful for, and never forget you are a dreamer.


I am a girl on a mission, and the mission I am on is to be myself. I am an undiscovered treasure, and here I am giving you a key that will allow you a little further into the labyrinth of who I am.


  • 16,725 visitors

You can find me…

Reading: just about anything I can get my hands on, other blogs, and especially YA Fiction Novels. Lately I have been really into anything by SARK and other non-fiction books. __________________________________ Writing: updates for my blog, a children's book, music/lyrics, and letters to pen pals. ;) __________________________________ Singing: Warm-Ups. __________________________________ Learning: How to use my voice as an instrument, History of Art, Watercolor, how to be actively involved in creating a better community, and something new every single day. __________________________________ Hoping for: Wisdom and patience when things are hard, a smile no matter what, and a better community. __________________________________ Dreaming about: HAPPINESS __________________________________ Eating: <3 Peanut Butter Pie. Peanut Butter Sandwiches. Peanut Butter No-Bake Cookies. __________________________________ Drinking: Water, usually. __________________________________ Playing: The Sims 3, Dance Central, and the Piano and Guitar. __________________________________ Watching: Christmas/Halloween movies, Who's the Boss? reruns, and crazy-cool documentaries about dead people. __________________________________ Listening to: Informative & Educational Podcasts, all kinds of music, and trying to listen to my parents (they are very wise, after all).

Join 81 other followers


Heather loves hats that are designed to look like cute animals, fairy wings, cheese pizza, swimming in ponds, roller blading, taking silly self-portraits, learning, spending time with people, and just about everything else too. Heather does not love ... well, there isn't a lot that she doesn't love. You can probably figure it out after a little while!