Losing My Religion

July 25, 2011 at 8:38 PM 3 comments

Lately I am feeling very lost, very hurt, very torn and confused. I feel strong and weak. This song, this song haunts me because it resonates so deeply in this time in my life. What is freaking wrong with me? I feel so far gone this morning. I’m not feeling like myself.

Oh, life is bigger
It’s bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I’ve said too much
I set it up

That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I’m
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool
Oh no I’ve said too much
I set it up

Consider this
Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I’ve said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream
That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream        

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Entry filed under: A Day in the Life. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Weaknesses, and Learning to Turn Them Into Strengths Misguided Ghosts

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jaclyn Rae  |  July 26, 2011 at 12:17 AM

    Heather, sweetie, I can relate to feeling lost. But, you know what? Whether we’re going through a season of sweetness or sadness, neither last forever. That’s just how life goes. We need the bitter to appreciate the sweet.

    I think sometimes it’s easy to feel discouraged when we’re stuck in the middle of a story line or a chapter of our lives… We get discouraged because we don’t know where we’re going and sometimes we don’t even realize we’re stuck in the middle (& how could we? You never realize it until you look back later). But we always come out on the other side of loneliness as stronger, wiser, more compassionate people.

    I guess I just want to encourage you to keep walking. I truly believe that God designed you to sparkle and shine and inspire the world. I know this because you inspire my world, through your art, through your writing, and through your friendship. If you just keep going, I know you’ll find inspiration and sweetness along your path. You’ll find yourself again in those sweet moments. You’re too beautiful to not attract beautiful and good things. Love, love, love. ❤

    Reply
  • 2. Grace Jones  |  July 26, 2011 at 7:40 AM

    Great thoughts from Jaclyn. Nothing needed to be added other than- I love you sweet friend. Chin up.

    Reply
  • 3. countingducks  |  July 27, 2011 at 3:51 PM

    I’ve stumbled on your blog and I’m glad I have. WE all have doubts and they can be truely corrosive. I hope you’ve recovered a bit

    Reply

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Reading: just about anything I can get my hands on, other blogs, and especially YA Fiction Novels. Lately I have been really into anything by SARK and other non-fiction books. __________________________________ Writing: updates for my blog, a children's book, music/lyrics, and letters to pen pals. ;) __________________________________ Singing: Warm-Ups. __________________________________ Learning: How to use my voice as an instrument, History of Art, Watercolor, how to be actively involved in creating a better community, and something new every single day. __________________________________ Hoping for: Wisdom and patience when things are hard, a smile no matter what, and a better community. __________________________________ Dreaming about: HAPPINESS __________________________________ Eating: <3 Peanut Butter Pie. Peanut Butter Sandwiches. Peanut Butter No-Bake Cookies. __________________________________ Drinking: Water, usually. __________________________________ Playing: The Sims 3, Dance Central, and the Piano and Guitar. __________________________________ Watching: Christmas/Halloween movies, Who's the Boss? reruns, and crazy-cool documentaries about dead people. __________________________________ Listening to: Informative & Educational Podcasts, all kinds of music, and trying to listen to my parents (they are very wise, after all).

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Heather loves hats that are designed to look like cute animals, fairy wings, cheese pizza, swimming in ponds, roller blading, taking silly self-portraits, learning, spending time with people, and just about everything else too. Heather does not love ... well, there isn't a lot that she doesn't love. You can probably figure it out after a little while!


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