End of the Quarter Blues (Change vs. Control)

March 13, 2012 at 11:24 AM Leave a comment

The end of the quarter is very near, and I am just a little distraught about it. I don’t know why I’m always so sad to see the quarter go. Is it because I’ve grown attached to my classmates and professors and I don’t want to lose touch with them? Is it because I feel like I still have so much to learn? So much to prove? Is it because I just don’t really like change all that much in general?

That last question is a really tough one for me, because I love spontaneity, and quite frankly I tend to force change into my life because I get anxious. I develop a fear that my life will become stagnant and I begin to almost crave something new. I move furniture around in my room, I get rid of stuff, I chop my hair into a new style, I drop an old habit (soda, coffee, etc.), I throw myself into a new activity, direction, friendship, or dream.

For somebody who hates change, I go to great efforts to make change happen in my life. Then I think about it. I don’t really like change– I like control. The quarter ending, no matter what, is something I cannot change. I cannot control. I love change I can control. I hate change that I can’t. The reason I get the itch to change after periods of time is probably because I feel like, maybe just maybe, if I make change in my life then the change that is inevitably coming won’t seem quite as hard to swallow.

So, maybe the real reason that the end of the quarter bothers me so much is that I have absolutely no control over it. I can’t just make a quick change and say, “Oh, I changed the length of the quarter to one more/less week.” It is what it is, and I have to deal with that.

Happy Adventures,
Heather

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Entry filed under: A Day in the Life, Food For Thought. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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Reading: just about anything I can get my hands on, other blogs, and especially YA Fiction Novels. Lately I have been really into anything by SARK and other non-fiction books. __________________________________ Writing: updates for my blog, a children's book, music/lyrics, and letters to pen pals. ;) __________________________________ Singing: Warm-Ups. __________________________________ Learning: How to use my voice as an instrument, History of Art, Watercolor, how to be actively involved in creating a better community, and something new every single day. __________________________________ Hoping for: Wisdom and patience when things are hard, a smile no matter what, and a better community. __________________________________ Dreaming about: HAPPINESS __________________________________ Eating: <3 Peanut Butter Pie. Peanut Butter Sandwiches. Peanut Butter No-Bake Cookies. __________________________________ Drinking: Water, usually. __________________________________ Playing: The Sims 3, Dance Central, and the Piano and Guitar. __________________________________ Watching: Christmas/Halloween movies, Who's the Boss? reruns, and crazy-cool documentaries about dead people. __________________________________ Listening to: Informative & Educational Podcasts, all kinds of music, and trying to listen to my parents (they are very wise, after all).

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Heather

Heather loves hats that are designed to look like cute animals, fairy wings, cheese pizza, swimming in ponds, roller blading, taking silly self-portraits, learning, spending time with people, and just about everything else too. Heather does not love ... well, there isn't a lot that she doesn't love. You can probably figure it out after a little while!


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