Whose Am I?

March 15, 2012 at 11:07 AM Leave a comment

It is finally, truly, sinking in. I am always waving “Be Yourself” around on banners and flags and then later will sit asking, “Who Am I?” and try to fit the pieces together within myself with hardly any outward perspective. I always end up looking from the inside out to try to figure this out. Now, I’ve been exposed to this idea of “Whose Am I?” before, in little doses at a time. For example, church hymns or songs, maybe a sermon or two. I’ve seen it in works of art, such as this collage page in a traveling journal by Candee Basford.

Yesterday I showed up at the college to talk to my professor, and was surprised to find that they were having a Ladies Tea there. I mean, I suppose that I actually did know about it but I ruled it out because it was on a Wednesday and I am always busy with class and work on Wednesday. Turns out, it’s the end of the quarter, Heather darling, there was no class for this particular Wednesday. I decided to show up anyway, courtesy of my “End of the Quarter Blues.”

Even more shocking was that Candee Basford was the speaker, and (go figure) she was there! I had missed her but between knowing how busy she was and how busy I was, I was afraid our schedules were always clashing so I hadn’t made an attempt to call her in a while. Needless to say I was happy to see her, and to be able to stay a little bit for her speech. This tea was to honor a very special lady, named Mary Ayres. Now, I personally do not know her, but she has an incredible story that you can read because she’s now written a book about it; In His Hands.

I remember sitting and listening intently to Candee’s presentation, and being amazed. I was amazed at the effect that Mary had on Candee, when Candee began attending the college. I was amazed at some interesting similarities to my own college beginning, though I was an entirely different breed of non-traditional student than Candee was. Then, while I was allowing that to really soak in, Candee began to talk about other women who have affected her life. She began to talk about discovering yourself, but in doing that you need to discover the people around you.

I began thinking about the people in my own life, and some of my family and friends formed themselves strongly into this “idea” of “who I am.” Some people aren’t even actively in my life anymore, but there is no denying that they have shaped me. I also began thinking of this show that my mom and I watched once, about genealogy, called Who Do You Think You Are?

Oh goodness, I loved that show! I loved that show because I love history, and finding things out about the past. I loved that show because I loved watching people connect their family ties and compare their lives to find their differences and similarities. I realize, I loved that show because it was all about this one little question of, “Whose Are You?”

Then I began thinking about my family tree, and I realized there is a lot I don’t know about my family. There is a lot that I want, or maybe even need, to know. My maternal grandfather died when my mother was 4 or 5. Other than that the only thing I know about him was that his name was Leon, he would be 91 if he were still alive today, and he may or may not have been in a war. I haven’t even seen a picture of him, and my own mother doesn’t even know much about him because she was so young when he died. I don’t know how much of an effect that this man has, or even has had, on my life just by being my grandfather. I don’t know if I would be any different were he still alive today, or if I had grown up knowing more about him. I don’t know, but right now I don’t know much about him at all anyway. Maybe even if my mother had been able to grow up with a father that wasn’t Mr. Brady or Michael Landon.

I was also reading a blog the other day, about needing to truly love yourself before you can love others. I guess I’ve got a long way to go before I start figuring out “Whose Am I?” and “Who Am I?”

That’s okay. It’s worth it. I’m worth it.

Happy Adventures,
Heather

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Entry filed under: A Day in the Life, Books, Community, Entertainment, Food For Thought, Gratitude. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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The Blogger

Smile about what you are thankful for, and never forget you are a dreamer.

I AM

I am a girl on a mission, and the mission I am on is to be myself. I am an undiscovered treasure, and here I am giving you a key that will allow you a little further into the labyrinth of who I am.

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Reading: just about anything I can get my hands on, other blogs, and especially YA Fiction Novels. Lately I have been really into anything by SARK and other non-fiction books. __________________________________ Writing: updates for my blog, a children's book, music/lyrics, and letters to pen pals. ;) __________________________________ Singing: Warm-Ups. __________________________________ Learning: How to use my voice as an instrument, History of Art, Watercolor, how to be actively involved in creating a better community, and something new every single day. __________________________________ Hoping for: Wisdom and patience when things are hard, a smile no matter what, and a better community. __________________________________ Dreaming about: HAPPINESS __________________________________ Eating: <3 Peanut Butter Pie. Peanut Butter Sandwiches. Peanut Butter No-Bake Cookies. __________________________________ Drinking: Water, usually. __________________________________ Playing: The Sims 3, Dance Central, and the Piano and Guitar. __________________________________ Watching: Christmas/Halloween movies, Who's the Boss? reruns, and crazy-cool documentaries about dead people. __________________________________ Listening to: Informative & Educational Podcasts, all kinds of music, and trying to listen to my parents (they are very wise, after all).

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Heather

Heather loves hats that are designed to look like cute animals, fairy wings, cheese pizza, swimming in ponds, roller blading, taking silly self-portraits, learning, spending time with people, and just about everything else too. Heather does not love ... well, there isn't a lot that she doesn't love. You can probably figure it out after a little while!


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